Here comes the sun

Today is the shortest day and longest night of the year. Sometimes the darkness can seem overwhelming. But you can make the sun come up for yourself, by deliberately spending more time and energy on people who think you’re great.

It’s not always possible to just walk away from people who think you’re lacking or who are trying to diminish you. But you can understand that they aren’t your core group (even if they’re technically family) and you can build a core group of people who think you poop rainbows. Even when you’re depressed.

Maybe you’re thinking about a few people who are always there and always supportive, but you haven’t connected with them because of that weird barrier effect of the depression. If that’s the case, specifically focus some energy on connecting with one of them every day. After a couple weeks this will not be overwhelming because it will start generating a feedback loop that energizes you.

Maybe you’re thinking that you can’t think of anyone who thinks you’re great. That’s a terrifying feeling. But remember that depression lies to you and puts blinders on you. Just because you aren’t noticing someone who thinks you’re great doesn’t mean that no one thinks you’re great. Spend a few days not worrying about what you’re saying and instead paying attention to the people you interact with. When you have a positive interaction, go toward that person and see if you can have another positive interaction. Eventually you will find at least one person who knows you enough to like you. Use the energy you gain from interactions with someone who likes you to go toward more positive interactions to eventually build a group of a few people who really like you.

(There’s a lid for every pot. And several friendship lids for every pot. The right people will like you because you’re weird, not in spite of it.)

Friendship makes the sun come up. And you can be a friend and you can have friends.

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