Famous Christmas Villain: Krampus

It’s Krampusnacht again, which means this may be the last time I talk to you. If this is the year Krampus finally stuffs me in his sack and takes me away, that’ll be it.

I think.

I mean, what if he makes himself look scary and makes being taken away sound horrible just to avoid being harassed by people who want to go to the fun place he usually lives? What if being snatched by Krampus is better than The Rapture in terms of blowing this earthly popsicle stand of misery and woe to go to a mythical paradise by dubious means?

I’m not convinced that all of our traditional Christmas villains are really evil. I think a lot of them are just unloved and cranky af. Which isn’t that far from what it feels like to be depressed, honestly.

I’m going to keep talking about Christmas villains because I think they’re good object lessons in how not to deal with depression. The lesson in Krampus is Don’t Walk Around With Your Tongue Out Scaring The Crap Out Of People And Threatening To Steal Their Children. Please make a note of it.

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